“Am I just a fool? Blind and stupid for loving you?”
Nicki Minaj’s Grand Piano plays inside your ears. You increase the volume and fix the earphones perfectly to fit your ears. The beat hits your heart. The climax shreds you. Nicki sang this just for you, you conclude.
“The people are saying that you have been playing my heart. Like a grand piano”.
The chorus continues and somewhere inside your heart, a string is struck. Your eyes, already a reservoir of unshed tears turns red. Red with water. Like blood, saturated. You begin to remember. Days unspent. Words unspoken. You flashback to those moments. Months ago. When your hands were held in hers. When she waltzed with you on the marble floors of this same sitting room. As a mirage, your brain welcomes her image, dancing to Ed Sheeran’s “Kiss Me” with the candles lit. Red and white candles. You reach out to touch her but she goes. Disappears into thin air. Your breath comes in instalments. Short gasps you struggle with. The memories you shared chokes you.
“Have I been a fool? Wrapped up in lies and foolish truths”
The next verse comes on and the tears hidden beside your ducts freely flow down. You were in love, but, now, you know not what you feel.
Beautiful Rebecca. The one you would die for. You remember the last time you saw her and more tears escape your eyes. You remember. It all comes to you. How you found the remainder of your life, clothless as Eve, sweaty, gripping hard to and clawing with her nails at the fellow. The bastard. You hear her moans then her screams. High pitched screaming all over again. You see her under your twin brother. Your identical twin brother. She wasn’t confused. She knew. It was intentional. She said she was a virgin and on your matrimonial bed, she will give her body to you. Same body your twin brother was furiously banging. You hear her moan one last time in your head. Her pleasure, your pain.
“Cold hearted shame, you remain just a frame in the dark”
The knife goes into your heart